4 Things

I truly dislike going this long without posting. It has been 10 days since my last post. (Sounds like I'm confessing to a priest, doesn't it?) 

In my defense, another semester of teaching 23 hours of class a week has begun, plus my TOEFL shifts, plus obedience school (for the dog, not me), and helping out at the church this month. Once October gets here, my schedule should be slightly less crammed and I'll have more time to devote to thinking up some original recipes. However, I will try to get some posted throughout September as well.  

But in the meantime, some interesting (or not) items: 

1. We finally sold the car!! (We have been trying to sell one of our cars for MONTHS now).

2. I added a category to the blog for "healthy" dishes. Sorry, fried green tomatoes cannot be found under this category. Sigh. 

3.I started the Brazil Butt Lift workouts. According to Leandro, my rear should hit the ceiling any day now. Be afraid Gisele, be very afraid.

4. I got on Netflix and watched a movie last night. Did you know that Joaquin Phoenix was in the movie Parenthood? But at that time he went by Leaf Phoenix. 

 

Perhaps he should have gone by Leaf during this phase...

  Happy Monday!!

Stop Pause Bottoms, Team Peeing, and other brilliant ideas

As promised but a bit delayed, I have compiled a selection of funny quotes/mistakes from essay grading and other random assignments from the summer semester.  Hope you enjoy.

Two interesting (and incorrect) choices from a reading fill-in-the-blank quiz - both a little frightening...:  

1. Prostitution is a challenging task among the youth. 

2. Prostitution is a basic framework among the youth. 

I just knew Shakespeare was a pot-head. 

Marihuana has been knowledge long time ago, since Shakespeare until these days. 

I can assure you, this was not happening in my class...

They are students are mating with teacher in class everyday.

Whoa there, China! Let's take it easy with that machinery.  It's all fun and games til someone gets hurt...

Agricultural machinery cannot be used wildly by farmers (in China).

I would imagine that many mothers of infants would find a "stop pause bottom" very useful...

If people want to bathroom, they would stop pause bottom, then they go to bathroom.

Seriously people, keep it to yourself, OK? 

Marriage is a personal problem.

What is this world coming to when a young mother can't even tack cake for herself?

Imagine that, how young women could take care of the baby and she could not tack cake for herself.

Hmm. Perhaps we need to grade a little harder on the "spilling". 

They grade you on your spilling and in your grammar, reading, and your writing. 

I have no clue what this last part means, but it has a nice, whimsical ring to it. 

I like room class and decoration coolers and hat nary on the will.

Ah, I see! Brian must not have "kwoned" me correctly before our marriage. It all makes sense now. 

Some people think if they marry from different cultures its wrong, because they do not kwon them before. Also, when people kwon each other they will have different cultures.

Darn. Been wasting all this time working when all I needed to do was stand outside my door!

However, most people agree that both parents should stay outside door to bring money...

You know the economy is bad when you can't even buy a drunk at the theater. 

This is another reason people don’t go to the movie theater it cost’s a lot to buy a drunk or popcorn.

Finally, a sport I would watch.

...when you will pee as a team sport. 

Those darn native Americans and their fancy textbooks.

When students study English, they need a regular textbook because they are not native American.

I know I do so much better when my test has a little seasoning. 

In my country we don’t use the technology a lot in the test. For example I did test the questions wrote buy hand, and I used in some test normal pepper I mean pepper from my notebook. 

Always wise parenting advise:

Parents should have an open communication with their children but not to tell them how ugly they are or how fat they are.

Well if I took three or four hours to get ready, I'm sure plenty of men would fall for me too. 

 Finely, I fell for some women, because they need to be ready three or four hours before the date.  

Ah, the million dollar question.

there comes up the idea of who this person did to see the movie before the premier.

Until next semester! 

Black Bean Nachos

I almost feel silly posting this - nachos are not exactly creativity at it's peak. But they taste good, and it's what I ate for dinner the other night, so I thought I'd share. Black beans are probably my favorite bean. I love that they are small and not waxy and are so versatile.

Oh and for those of you that read the previous post about Frazier's scone incident, I thought I would share that apparently not even fruits and vegetables are safe in this house. I came home to make Brian some food to bring to the school, where he was furiously studying away for his upcoming comps, to discover that I no longer had any tomatoes to put on his sandwich...nor did I have a peach that was also on the counter. He even tried some peppers. I sure hope he got one of the hot ones - it would serve him right to get that little surprise. Perhaps I should leave those on out on purpose...

Anyway, enough about my compulsive over-eater dog and back to the nachos. 

Ingredients: 

• tortilla chips
• 1 can black beans, drained (rinsing is not necessary) 
• cumin
• package of good, shredded Mexican blend cheeses
• For topping: olives, jalapenos, lettuce, tomato, salsa, sour cream, guacamole, cilantro

Heat the oven to about 400. Cover a baking sheet with foil and then spray it with cooking spray to prevent the cheese from sticking. Spread some tortilla chips evenly over the foil (amount depends on how many you're serving and/or how big your craving is for salty, cheesy goodness) then sprinkle cheese evenly over each chip. I used a Mexican blend from Trader Joe's. Next add the black beans (I like to season them with some ground cumin. Actually, I think it would be good to sprinkle the whole thing with cumin. I will do that next time.), olives, and jalapenos. I personally need a jalapeno for every bite. Pop this into the oven until melty and gooey - about 10 minutes. 

When out of the oven, add some chopped fresh cilantro, chopped lettuce, tomato, guacamole, sour cream, salsa - whatever floats your nacho boat. Serve and devour immediately.  

And keep far away from gluttonous dog.

Pizza Night

Before we talk pizza, I'll tell you a little bit about what I've been up to since the last post a million years ago. 

Last week I spent a lovely four days at my Grandma's house in Cabot, Arkansas. I saw my my family, ate good food, saw a couple of old, dear friends, played in the pool, and recharged for another semester. (I'm still not quite ready for that...) Frazier had a great time too. He probably didn't want to come home to his boring city house. After all, here he can't sit on the couch (yes, I know, we're so mean) and there is no Grandpa to sneak him toast and no barn cats to chase. Poor Frazier. 

Friday was a day I'd been looking forward to for weeks: a day trip with my good friend Jen to Kansas City. The main goal of the trip: shop at Trader Joe's!! Kansas City now has the 3rd largest Trader Joe's in the country. It was huge, it was awesome, I almost cried. I have to say, I went a little nuts. My cart was overflowing with TJ's goodness. All my self-control goes right out the window once I step through those doors. We also went to the City Market and I had maybe one of the best falafels of my life. Great day. 

The next day, however, was not so great. 

Trader Joe's has delightful cinnamon chip scones. I love, love, love cinnamon chip scones. I've been thinking about them for weeks. I bought two packages. Well Saturday, what should we return home to but to discover that my sweet little glutton Frazier had consumed not only BOTH packages of scones (6 total) but an ENTIRE loaf of sourdough bread I bought at the City Market. A trip to the emergency vet and $100 later, I had no scones and Frazier had the worst gas of his life - which is saying a lot. Needless to say, from now on all food is going on lock-down in the cabinets.  I haven't quite forgiven him yet...


Pizza. Pizza is a good thing to console my poor, scone-less soul. I made two kinds last night: one for me and one for Brian. 


Jen's Pizza: 

• one pizza dough of your choice (I used Trader Joe's for these) 
• good pizza sauce (again, I used Trader Joe's, but there are some great ones out there or you can make your own)
• about 2 cups shredded, good quality mozzarella cheese or slices of fresh mozzarella
• kalamata olives
• a few fire-roasted red peppers, cut into pieces 
• handful of arugula 

If you have a pizza stone (which I highly recommend having) heat the stone in the oven for about an hour or so previous to cooking the pizza. Roll out the dough to about a 12 inch circle (I usually do this on floured parchment paper), brush olive oil on the edges, and then top with the sauce, then the cheese, and then the olives and the peppers. Slide the pizza on the parchment paper onto the pizza stone and cook according to the directions for the dough. If you don't have a pizza stone, just use a round baking sheet. When just out of the oven, add the arugula over the top. Yum. You see, the greens make it healthy so it's OK.

 For Brian, I made a BBQ chicken pizza. Yes, with real chicken, but you could easily use imitation chicken strips such as Morningstar. Simply prepare the dough as above, but use your favorite BBQ sauce (preferably with some spice to it) instead of tomato sauce and throw your chicken pieces on top of the cheese and viola!

Home Sweet Inferno

I'm going on a mini vacation of sorts. After this TOEFL shift, I am off to the familiar, beautiful sauna that is Arkansas. My dad told me yesterday that it hit 117 degrees one day recently. 117! Said it was the hottest day on record ever. The funny thing is the official record was a mere 114 since apparently they take the temperature in the shade, which doesn't seem to make much sense to me. His poor garden is wilted and suffocating under the blazing sun. Not that is hasn't been pretty hot here too, but geez. However, after last winter, I don't think I should complain ever again about heat...it's probably bad karma or something.

Even with the heat and humidity, I cannot wait to get there. We just finished the madness of summer session last week and I need a BREAK. Not only do I need a break, I need to be home. I miss Arkansas, I miss my family, and I miss my friends. I've met some lovely people here in Springfield that are making living here a bit more tolerable and it's great to have my grandma here, but it is still so...different. That's as far as I'll go with that. I wouldn't want anyone talking bad about my hometown so I won't do that to anyone else. Amazing that a relatively short four hour drive away could make such a difference - that you can go from being in the south to feeling like your smack in the middle of the mid-west.  I'm just not so sure I'm a mid-west kinda girl.

So, I'll look forward to, in a couple short hours, loading up Frazier and heading off to see the greatest people in the world, my family, and soaking up the 249 degree heat by the pool at Grandma's house. I'm taking my camera and hopefully for once in my life I'll remember to take pictures. Perhaps I'll also get a little recipe inspiration. With Brian gone, I've been trying to eat up random things and avoid going to the store so there hasn't been much cooking going on. It's a good thing I'm leaving today or my dinner might consist of pickles and a hot dog bun...

Dinner for One

When Brian is out of town, I get to make stuff with olives. Olives are my absolute favorite single food item on the planet and my husband hates them. Go figure. Kalamatas are probably my favorite. They are so bold and salty and go so well with pastas. So in trying to use up random things in my fridge while Brian is away (not to mention a massive amount of tomatoes) I threw this together. It's very similar to the Caprese pasta I made recently, with the addition of olives and some chopped fresh herbs (rosemary, thyme, parsley, and oregano). Oh, and a little Greek seasoning sprinkled over the top. Awesome.

Dragon-Breath Salsa

Now, I realize that should I actually want people to try this recipe, I shouldn't use use descriptions like "dragon-breath" in the title. However, I think it only fair to warn you that, for the sake of others, you will want to stay a good 20 feet away for about 3 days after consuming. It's worth the sacrifice.

Since I have an abundance of tomatoes, a great was to use them is to make some fresh salsa. I don't cook this at all - just toss everything in the food processor and give it a whirl. The "dragon-breath" quality really comes from the fresh garlic. You could use less than I do if you want and not ruin your social life, but what's the fun in that? 

Ingredients: 

• 4-5 tomatoes, seeded and quartered 
• 1/4 cup chopped red onion
• 3-4 cloves garlic, peeled
• juice of 1 lime
• handful of fresh cilantro
• 2-4 fresh jalapenos, stems removed (this depends on your tolerance and the potency of the peppers, I also threw in some banana peppers since I had them but that's totally optional)
• about 3/4 tbsp vinegar 
• salt to taste 

Throw all the above into a food processor and pulse until everything us finely chopped and well blended. Taste and and add more salt if desired. This is great just as a dip with tortilla chips or added to your favorite dishes. I love the bold, fresh flavors. 

Salsa is so healthy and low-cal so why is everything I want to eat with it so bad? It's a cruel world.